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aladylostinlove:

Whoa.

(Source: wnderlst, via sassquatches)

Anonymous asked:
You shouldn't ever think you need to handle that stuff on you're own! Its really really rough and I'm sorry you feel like that but its important you let people help you, even if you think its stupid x

Thank you :( I’m getting help but it’s a slow process. It’s really out of my comfort zone and it just reinforces how dumb I am acting but hopefully it will all go away soon.

So yesterday Jakub booked what was supposed to be a fancy surprise dinner and about ten minutes before we were due to get into a taxi I had a huge anxiety attack in our bathroom and he found me sitting on the toilet lid absolutely hysterical for no reason whatsoever. I tried to calm myself down but I couldn’t and I feel so freaking stupid because he physically carried me back into our room and hugged me until I could use words and then talked me through it. Which I really appreciate but he shouldn’t have to because I should be able to control shit like this. Like it was supposed to be a fun nice night to enjoy eachother’s company but instead we ordered Thai food and I took way too much codeine and stayed up all night convinced I was going to die if I let it lull me to sleep and ugh. I’m so embarrassed of myself for exhibiting any of this to anybody because usually I can handle it in private and I just want to hide my face forever. Wow.

Jakub has managed to tolerate me for 6 months today which I think is pretty remarkable 🎉

1

There’s something disturbing about recalling a warm memory and feeling utterly cold.

Gone Girl, Gillian Flynn (via northwolves)

(Source: stannisbaratheon, via westwickham)

gingerhaze:


I dunno, being home makes me feel weird sometimes.