So yesterday Jakub booked what was supposed to be a fancy surprise dinner and about ten minutes before we were due to get into a taxi I had a huge anxiety attack in our bathroom and he found me sitting on the toilet lid absolutely hysterical for no reason whatsoever. I tried to calm myself down but I couldn’t and I feel so freaking stupid because he physically carried me back into our room and hugged me until I could use words and then talked me through it. Which I really appreciate but he shouldn’t have to because I should be able to control shit like this. Like it was supposed to be a fun nice night to enjoy eachother’s company but instead we ordered Thai food and I took way too much codeine and stayed up all night convinced I was going to die if I let it lull me to sleep and ugh. I’m so embarrassed of myself for exhibiting any of this to anybody because usually I can handle it in private and I just want to hide my face forever. Wow.